jkhines

Rusty Varnish was an elite handyman, one of the best. Or so he thought. He was able to cobble, solder, plumb, and electrify almost any device that was not made of shag or foam rubber. He was losing his hair. He worried about that a lot, to the point where...

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"I'm voting for the party that hates cats."

The Gardener's Roses The Gardener's roses were such a delight, he tended to them both by day and by night. One sunny day when he was pulling weeds, he spied a strange plant unlike any he'd seen. The strange little plant looked a bit like a...

The bus driver was talking rather loudly, "I can grow pretty much anything in my garden." He wasn't an old man, quite the opposite, he was a middle aged man fighting to stay young in a loud shirt made of a floral pattern, stylish sunglasses...

In that moment the factory windows imploded in a constellation of broken glass. Vague shapes blurred through the openings while our ears range in a piercing frequency that we would eventually recognize as an explosion. One of the hulking Russian mobsters...

I handled the contact with the Russians for the transfer of the four million Euros for the Clam Gun. It was a simple call. "This message is for Boris. We have what you want." "What do I want?" "You know what you want." "I...

The interior of the tent smelled of mold and rust. I was reminded of my parent's basement where a chaotic collection of boxes lay, spilling their contents onto the damp cement, disgorging the childhood treasures of some sibling or other. The boxes...

At long last we had stealthily crept from the armory parking lot to the very entrance of the tent that held our prize. We had snuck up on it much like thieves in the night, which, upon reflection, we were. So we'd done a good job there. I was the...

At the foot of our burliest compatriot lay a tipped bottle, Coors Light to be exact, lolling on its side. Obviously these National Guardsmen were more wily than we had thought, relying less on twenty-first century technology such as infrared cameras and...

We waited for a long time. For hours and hours we waited without any sign of the guards returning. On the very night of our malevolent heist the National Guard had grown slack, like a formless jellyfish washed upon the shore. But without the ability to...

The inner sanctum hosting the Clam Gun was an impenetrable fortress of lasers, dogs, motion-detecting sensors, and tripwires. These were all routed through a central hub into a command room staffed by the most dog-friendly and vigilant observers in the...

The night was dark, pitch dark, and stormy skies splashed showers in sheets across the asphalt parking lot. The lot was dark, pitch dark, surrounded by a rusty iron fence topped with sinister-looking razor wire. It was the National Guard armory, full...

Radishes were disappearing from Old Man Jenkins' farm. Every Tuesday night he'd put out a bushel and by the morning they'd be gone. The old man was so upset about it that when he went into town the next day he'd have a horrible upset stomach...